Fun Times

I've been told four times in the last week or two that my blog is uber-emotional. This was NOT my intention.

Look-- I write this thing as a method of story-telling in an effort to keep you people posted on my life and times. (Since mostly you know that I'm not forthcoming with my emotions on a conversational basis, there may be some of that included in here too.) But my intention is not to depress or to reduce my life to a series of emotionally draining stories or impressions. If that is how you perceive this to be, my sincerest apologies. On that note, here is a GENERIC and somewhat boring account of my day. I don't want you to think I can't "blog" the way a blog should be. So here is a funny story. And by funny I mean expensive and painful. Fuck you guys.

My alarm went off at the usual time, and I let it ring, because I was exhausted. The boy stayed here the night before last, and you all know that I can't sleep next to someone. I just CAN'T. I try. I have, in the last year, been able to stop the throwing up in the morning thing that I used to do when I slept next to someone. Two people (who recently have taken to comparing themselves to Obiwan and Anakin) managed to break me of the AM sickness thing...but still it's a challenge.

Anyway, needless to say I was exhausted yesterday. I haven't gotten much sleep at all since the baby died. Nightmares and all that. And then the 430am dance parties in Charlotte, and then the boy....

So there I lay, listening to the alarm. Begging the day not to begin. Couldn't there be a nuclear war or something at this very moment, thus allowing me to just stay in bed and die, rather than have to face consciousness? Fine. I turn my head to look at the clock, (a seemingly harmless gesture) when suddenly, a CRUNCHING sound resounds through my head behind my left ear. I am paralyzed. The pain in my neck shoots directly from my spine into my brain where it bounces around for a few seconds before I realize what has happened. That crunching was me. Something in me crunched.

The pain was excruciating.

I managed to get ready for work (straightening my hair and all..) and by the time I got there, it was obvious this crunchy injury was not going away. I immediately found the number for a chiropractor that my coworkers use and scheduled an appointment. By the time I made it there @ 530 this evening, my neck was in a complete spasm. I couldn't move it left or right, barely up, and not at all down. The MD on staff injected me with 10shots of cortisone (TEN shots. In my neck and back, mind you.) And sent me to Physical Therapy. I have to attend PT now three times a week for the next two weeks. Apparently I fucked myself up bigtime. So thankfully when I got out of there, mostly numb and $150 in the hole to start...Valerie took me out for cocktails on the company expense account and I felt much better. But now the booze and injections are wearing off, and I'm hoping once again for that nuclear holocaust to prevent me from having to face another handicapped work day. Ouch.

On a COMPLETELY different note...this is the first day in a few days (lots of days) that I haven't talked to the boy. And mock that if you will...but I kind of miss him.

Silly, huh?

OK-- sleep now. I'll write another emotionally devoid entry tomorrow if I can stand the pain of sitting at a computer again.

Love you all :)